Speak Your Mind (l’aparela)

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Behind the song

Moving between Studio A (recording of acoustic instruments) and the sequencing dens, Andy, Al and I used the effect of reversing classical harp with electronic percussion against the backdrop of plucked harp, acoustic guitar and Jeremy Alsop’s bass.

The lyrics of ‘Speak Your Mind’ are about a subconscious desire to ignore what is right in front of me. I used to scream at God “why won’t you show yourself to me if you expect me to believe in you”.

But during the same years that I accused God of either hiding his face or not existing, I saw people love each other in a way that didn’t make sense if it was all random and just survival of the fittest.  I responded with passion but without purpose to sunsets and a certain kind of music. I was taught history and told the Christmas story of Jesus, supposedly God with us on earth to help.

But none of that proved anything to me because of the simple fact that there was suffering.  In spite of the miracle of life and testimonies of God’s story throughout history, in my mind, God was at the very least quiet or absent in the face of death and violence.

Yet I ached to believe and have rest.  So over time, he found more ways of humbling me so that my anger subsided long enough to see that he has a lot to say on the matters of death and pain. When I began to see God in action, I realised that there was actually no new information, just new ears to hear.

And yet, after being humbled enough to give my life to God in response to his loving care, I continue to ignore God’s word if I simply don’t like what it’s asking of me. This song is about wishing I would get over myself and trust the supernatural being that is powerful enough to create life.